Sunday at 1:13am, so it's actually Monday.

Well the Lakers just lost their second game to Boston. I'm actually rooting for Boston, I hate the Celtics more than any other team in professional sports, not just the NBA. But, I guess since they beat us, I want them to take home the 'chip. It's good to be a Detroit fan though, the Redwings just won the cup, 4th time in 11 years. The tiger's have an amazing roster on paper. And the Pistons made it to the Eastern conference finals for like that 6th straight year, it's pretty unbelievable. Anyways, I can't go to bed even though I'm dead tired. I'm such a night owl. There's so many thoughts that just stick in my head that I can't get rid of, so I feel like this is a good venting process. ie, on Tuesday one of my clients passed away and I had to go to their viewing in between appointments. Her name was Kathy and I just talked to her and her husband a week before that. I was at their dining room table and we were all conversing. Her and her husband just came with me to Merrill from Edward Jones, and they came into some more money, at the meeting she admitted to me that she was talking to another advisor because she didn't want one person handling all their old money and new money, she didn't have to tell me that, but she said it was killing her to not be 100% truthful to me. That's just the way she was she was a kind hearted absolutely wonderful lady, a grandma everybody would want. She was quite restricted in her movements, she was a little heavyset and had an oxygen tube going into her nose. Even in that position she had one of the most energetic personalities I ever met. You could tell in her younger years she was a real go getter, and probably danced the night away whenever she went out. I knew she had been in the hospital for a month, I didn't realize it was so serious. I guess you never really do. And now I'm at her viewing just looking over all the picture montages over her life. And I'm thinking to myself that's it, she's just laying there in the casket, no life left done. Is that really it? Is that life? I just couldn't believe it. You really wonder about life at this point. You wonder what's the point, what's the purpose? As I'm looking at her wedding pictures 20 years ago, about to lose it and start crying, her husband comes up to me and we get to chatting. Her brother actually passed away a week before, but they didn't tell her, because that would've been too hard, and her uncle passed away two months ago. I couldn't believe how well Jim kept it together at the viewing I was on the verge of losing it and there he was joking around. I couldn't imagine losing a loved one, especially your wife. I don't know if I would be that resilient. At 25 you never really think about death. You're still at the point where you feel immortal, after the phase of thinking you know it all, but still going after every weekend like it's your last time partying. You don't really reflect on your life too much. You are always thinking about the future, your next car, your first house, when you get this, you still need to do that, meanwhile fathertime is just walking by, and it feels like he's running by sometimes. I know if someone would have told me 5 years ago I'd own my own house in Grand Rapids, I would've been in disbelief. That's what's funny "Life isn't about knowing. Its about living for the moment. Its about finding the person you can go through anything with and still find something to laugh about together at the end of the day. Its about making your dreams come true. Its about making mistakes. Its about finding what makes you happy. Life has never been about knowing, so stop wasting time wishing you knew." I was playing this card game that makes you answer questions, and one question was "what one thing do you wish you knew the answer to" and this girl said she wanted to know when she was going to die. We talked about that answer, and I definitely don't want to know when I'm going to die, that would just be a bummer, thinking about your life in relation to when you're going to die, that would be an awful perspective. I like the not knowing part, that's what makes life so interesting. If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans. I do know one thing though, I would hate to find out when I was dying that I never really truly lived. You have one life, but if you do it right that's all you need. There's nothing in our lives that would take longer than a lifetime to do, anything worth doing anyway. Well, that's my thought of the day. L-I-V-I-N. Do it or don't, there is no try.